The Most Important Stories You May Have Missed

The obvious headlines like "Obama Wins Presidency," are hard to miss, and I'm sure all you poli-sci buffs are well-versed on Obama's cabinet picks, but here are some stories you may have missed with all the hoop-la and fanfare over trivial issues like who will be the next leader of our struggling country:

What breed best suits the new first family?  Forget picking a secretary of state, Barack's next big decision will be: pitbull, rottweiler or poodle.  Or how about a pit-rot-oodle?  Of course, everyone from foreign diplomats to Jamie Foxx have an opinion on this topic.  But the real expert in this area?  Yes, that's right, the Dog Whisperer (aka Cesar Millan).  Dog guru and Oprah show regular, Millan has publicly delivered some of the world's best advice to our president-elect.  "The dog won't know he's Barack Obama and won the presidency," he says.  Gasp!  You mean a dog won't know that his master is the saviour of the United States?  Oh my goodness!

So what are we politically-minded, concerned citizens to do?  Get out the VOTE, again!  You to can be a part of presidential history and vote on the name of the first-dog-to-be by going to Bar(ac)k the Vote (my, how clever).  I'm personally in favor of Hope, or maybe Change, it's just such a tough call. (image from Tripawds.com)

Michelle, Barack and the Harmony Ring:  One of the foremost credible news sources in the world reported the Barack plans to purchase a $30,000 "Harmony" ring for his wife Michelle.  The news source I am of course referring to is the Daily Mail.  Apparently, Italian designer Giovanni Bosco will create the one-of-a-kind diamond-encrusted rhodium ring.  (For those two or three of you who don't know what rhodium is, it's a metal produced in South Africa and the most expensive in the world.)  The ring will reportedly be ready in time for the Mrs. to wear to the inauguration.

But then Gawker has the audacity to try to dispute this story!  They say, "President-elect Obama—allegedly a 'man of the people'—is allegedly buying a fancy $30,000 ring for his fancy wife, allegedly!"  The nerve!  You can just hear the words, dripping with sarcasm.  How dare they question the authority of the Daily Mail?  Well, come inauguration day, we'll just see who's right.

Pssst!  Hey Barack!  I hear you can shop for "Harmony rings" at Wal-Mart, and they're only $150-300!  (image from Gawker.com)

The White House is a Non-Smoking Zone:  Republicans everywhere have taken up a new cause: alerting the public to the fact that Barack Obama is still a smoker.  If they can't attack him politically, then dammit, they'll attack him personally.  Despite the fact that he's trying to quit, he admits to giving in to temptation from time to time.  That's it!  I knew it!  We should have elected John McCain.  It's much more likely that Obama will succumb to lung cancer or heart disease that McCain would have to the stress of the job at his age.

Even though Obama "says" he won't light up in the White House.  What's to stop him?  We need more accountability in our government.  We can cut defense spending and put security cameras in every hall way and multiple smoke detectors in every room.  (image from SavagePolitics.com)